Letter to my Son

Aedric, with every day that goes by, as I watch you develop I am filled with so much love and thankfulness that I’m not quite certain how my body contains it.  Sometimes I just lay down and hold you because I can, because you’re there.  No matter what people say, your personality really is developed quickly.  You are already your own full little person, even if you aren’t capable of talking to me in ways I completely understand.  You know people, you know who you like and who you don’t.  You know who needs help, or affection, or love.  You have learned how to climb onto and off of the bed, the couch, and you come to me when you want to be picked up.

Life is bittersweet..  I’m currently coming to terms with my own mortality (which hopefully will not come into effect until I am much older) and the fact that I can’t be there for you forever. Because of this, I will be there for you throughout your life.  I know what solitude and pain are like, and while I can’t make your world a better one, I can at least try to give you good, strong roots and teach you about connections, and teach you to look at the world and ask “What can I learn” instead of “What can I get?”

I won’t raise you in front of the TV but I won’t keep you from it; some TV shows have good values, some do not.  Same with video games..  The human brain is a remarkable thing, and I am going to teach you the best that I can.  I can’t wait to take you on walks in the woods, you know?  I just want to live life, be happy with you.  That’s all, that’s all I want. A good life for me, and for you.

You are my world.  You make my life brighter just by being alive. I was so worried that something was going to happen to you because of what happened when you were five months within my belly.  Being homeless really scared me, more for you than for me.  I’m so glad you are a happy, healthy, intelligent baby. You’re my world, and I will do anything for you.

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~ by araelysia on November 28, 2012.

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