That’s what this is. I may live on the opposite side of the country, I may have never been there, but I can only imagine their pain. I’m sitting here with my naked child sitting on my lap, trying to stick his head down my shirt to nurse (hehe, he’s 11 months) and as I sit here, I’m just reveling in the feeling, the ability to hold him. At one point far back in our DNA’s history, we were once an awkward land-fish without the ability to understand or hold our young. You and I were that same person, in a manner of speaking, and now we sit on opposite sides of the country or the world and we live our lives, and we feel.

Ahh, do we feel. I haven’t even looked into it, I saw one article and felt the pain, and couldn’t do it anymore. I am hiding out from Facebook right now, my facebook wall is a war zone between my friends differing opinions on gun control issues. I guess it bothers me that as a society we are focusing more on the weapon and less on the person who had the capacity to do such a terrible thing.

What could lead them through that kind of pain, to the point that it makes sense, and is like, necessary or fun to do something like that?  Something was wrong in their minds, and by that I refer to the guy who shot up the viewing of a Batman movie, all the way through to the people who killed children today.  It happened in China too, but I think it was with a knife.

What bothers me is that these people have something very, very wrong with them, something that they can’t fix on their own, and rather than be helped to a safer mental place, no one noticed or did anything because of things like INSURANCE. Being alive doesn’t mean you get health care, especially for mental things.

We don’t consider it an issue. It’s something you can just suck up and deal with, but you won’t.  Except it’s not.  It’s not like that at all, and to compare mental illness with something you need to just grow out of is not okay.  I have a “mental illness”.  That doesn’t mean I could or want to hurt children, but at one point I did have a lot of rage within myself, until I managed to get out of it. I was one of the lucky ones and figured out how to deal with it.

Mental illness is something that we need to face, and we need to deal with in this society, but for some reason we find it less acceptable to fix someone else than to protect our own inflated sense of self identity and self worth.  We hold ourselves so high on our pedestal we can’t even see anyone else.  That is what concerns me about this, not just the gun control laws. When people want to cause that much damage they will find a way. If it wasn’t a gun, he could have blown himself up. 

There is a problem BEHIND it that truly bothers me and concerns me.  I want a better world for myself and my child.

Can we please take a step back and stop blaming things like video games and the media and face the real problem?


~ by araelysia on December 14, 2012.

2 Responses to “Tragedy..”

  1. Yeah, only if the shooters had at least a single friend who listened, accepted them for who they are and not what other people said about them. They aren’t hardcore criminals, they are just lonely and figure their only salvation is self-destruction. There’s a lot of anger behind that kind of thinking. So much that it spills out to others. He just needed one person. One person that wasn’t afraid to think on their own and reach out to them without prejudice before all this happened. Of course it’s hard to open-up on both sides, but someone needs to. Because, “We forget to pray for a soul that needs the most saving. The Devil.”

    To change the world, it needs to happen at the individual level and I have to lead by example, and I believe the courage will be contagious. I want to be brave enough to open-up and strong enough to stay opened when things don’t go well.

    Sometimes I’m just not sure what opening up is though. Any thoughts?

    • Sometimes I’m not sure either. But each of us has demons or things that are just not going away, that bother us all the time. Fears, insecurities soul-deep that color our perceptions of the world around us. Sometimes it’s as easy as talking about a painful memory with someone who understands, and sometimes what you need is simply for someone to say “I understand” or “I hear you when you speak”. You know?

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