Day 9

9 will always make me think of Nyssa. I know I mention her a lot, and I’m sorry, but I want to explain a bit first. Nyssa had synesthesia, something that I sometimes wonder if I have, or if it at least applies to how my brain perceives what gives me my creativity.  When I see a name, or an outfit, or hear music, or… or…. anything, I see something else. I see a color, I smell something, I know something new, some connection. Sometimes these tendrils touch others and I get a story idea and I have to hope I have something I can write it down with on hand.

She was like that, but she drew. So you know who I am referring to, here is her DeviantArt page:  Now, note, she is dead, as I have said, (for those who are new) and this is just me pointing out her skill to you.

I feel as if I am living a war right now, as if for the past 9 days, I have been riding the tides and a battle appeared, or rather was shown through the mist. I am fighting my beliefs right now, in a way. I am shaken. This is really hard to write here, but I believe in the supernatural, sometimes. Not necessarily for ghosts or ghouls in the horror movie sense, but certainly messages from beyond, through people or signs.

I started looking for these signs, trying desperately to find what I remembered of her in my mind and hold onto it before she was gone forever that I stopped paying attention to reality, kind of. I mean I still did, but I kept making myself focus on her.  I don’t feel anything new right now, but I think I figured some stuff out today about myself and my process. I am going to give myself a couple of days to relax and calm down, and then I am going to try writing again, and I am going to assign Jason to do something else so I have time to myself, and I will make myself write. I am working on two stories right now, the Treikin girl story, and Corporate Wars. I need to read some books before I continue with CW though, I need to darken it up some.


~ by araelysia on January 10, 2013.

2 Responses to “Day 9”

  1. sorry your loss hurts bad, instead of hurting good

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