A shard of the past

This is from a journal of mine that I wrote in when I worked at Big Lots back in New York. That was a lifetime ago, even though it was almost four years. Wow. It hurts to think about a little because that was when Nyssa lived with me and things could have gone so differently…

Anyway, here it is.

“(7-19-09)
She was not made for this world she was enslaved to. She had known it for quite some time. Still she tried to appease the soul within, coaxing it to be calm, just a little bit longer. Her eyes seemed to blaze in an eerie light, her aura crackling around her like a white-hot forest fire. Unlike flames, however, hers twisted madly and bespoke of every element mankind had ever dreamed of and more. However, though her energy was such a chaotic blend, it at least usually was at peace with itself, albeit in a way most beings could not comprehend.

Now, though, her soul itself seemed to writhe in agony, the elements clawing each other as though trying to tear free or destroy something else. Slowly this sight, which usually showed itself to the gifted, began to manifest. Without appearing to notice, she scratched a spot on the back of her arm. Within seconds, she scratched the back of her neck, then her side. Her eyes were seeming more wild now.

A rising storm… Sabriel thought. That’s what this female appeared to be. From his spot in the netherworld he watched her, intrigued. He wondered if he could coax her to join his side. Probably not.

This was written during a panic attack on my break at Big Lots. I had really bad panic attacks- in fact I think I was having a psychotic break working customer service because nothing felt real and I was always terrified. I hate customer service… lol.

Seriously, though, mental illness is nothing to laugh at, and I was in a bad way. I healed because of Nyssa and my knowledge of her existence and how her mind operated, and I joined her ideas with mine. I miss her.

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~ by araelysia on May 10, 2013.

3 Responses to “A shard of the past”

  1. love the blog

    • Thank you 🙂 I try to be as honest as possible ^_^ And I’m trying to have a more positive outlook on life, you know? focus on the things I want to achieve etc. ^_^ Have a good evening.

      • ya I know what you mean , once I started having a positive outlook my life changed and I learned how to make a income off my wordpress blog changed my life and now i’m changing others lives.

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