Keep Out!

I have been trying hard to keep my blog less drama-related and more about my life and random thoughts and stuff, but I don’t think it works very well- I’m a leaky compartmentalizer. Is that a word? It is now.

There is the now ex best friend who is pissed at me for reasons I can’t fathom, considering how everything went down. But I’m being Nice Writer, right? Not telling people details like last names or anything. I don’t know.

There are a lot of people who have hurt me over the years and I’m still reluctant to bring the truth of my past to light for fear that they’ll think I’m lying, or honestly I don’t know what. I shouldn’t have to.

You know what? screw it. I’m not perfect. I can be passive aggressive as hell sometimes- it’s because during times of conflict I revert back to what I did when my father would scream at me- Basically shut down and wait for it to be over. I’ve begun to start mentioning when things bother me. It’s hard to when you’re afraid of the response, but it’s not worth it to be afraid of other people all your life.

I want no regrets. So honestly to date the people I hope aren’t reading are my parents, my aunts and uncle, Kendra, not that I’ve really gone out and said everything that happeend, but just because we used to be friends and she apparently hates me now, when I was under the impression that was my job. :/ lol. Kidding. I don’t hate her. Doing something shitty doesn’t make you a horrible person- doing something shitty and then not owning up to the emotional impact your decisions have (which goes for all the people in this paragraph, including me) will not get you anywhere in life.

So how about keep out, manipulators? Keep out people who fear the truth? How about this one for size- my ex best friend and my husband fucked on my couch before we were even split up. That was nice to find out on Father’s day.

Sometimes things don’t get packaged neatly. Sometimes people do fucked up, terrible things. Sometimes things change. But we all teach each other something. So what you don’t want, what you’re afraid of, that’s something to think about.

Hmm, thanks Daily Post lol.

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~ by araelysia on July 9, 2013.

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