Liars, liars everywhere…

Well, okay, not exactly. Kind of. Jason, I know, has a lot of issues. Yesterday brought all of it to a head. It’s getting to the point where I think he needs to focus on his issues before he visits with Aedric, because I’m no longer sure what of what he’s told me is true, and what are lies intended to control and scare me.

After stuff that happened yesterday, he’s lucky I haven’t called the cops to file a report. A lot of people would say I should, but now that I’ve experienced it and I know it’s such a possible scenario for me to have to deal with again, I recognize just how deep his issues go.

He needs it. He has anger issues, he lies, he’s lied to me from the day I met him about one thing or another. He’s stolen from me multiple times. I tell people he’s not a bad guy, and honestly I don’t think he means to be, he just has so many problems that he refuses to face, that now I am beginning to understand how deep they go.

So far his anger has consistently been directed at me, which is better than being directed at Aedric, but it’s taken place in front of Aedric, every time. He has no self control when he’s in that state. Aedric deserves better. 

I deleted Jason’s dad after the events of yesterday, which probably wasn’t the proper course of action. I also posted a status update in response to what happened, without stating what happened because I didn’t know what else to do and I was shaking for about 10 minutes. When Lyndsey came back upstairs I was shaking less, but I was definitely not over the anxiety. 

Part of me wishes I knew what the hell really is going on. What Jason’s parents have really been saying about me, if they even have. Part of me just doesn’t give a shit anymore and doesn’t want to deal with this vicious cyclone anymore. 

Look at what Jason turned into. He’s 26. I’m 25. Aedric is 18 months old. I lived in fear as a kid, I’m not letting it happen to Aedric. Just… ugh.

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~ by araelysia on July 28, 2013.

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