Forgiveness and thankfulness

I haven’t been posting a lot lately, I’ve been pretty mentally/emotionally/psychologically/physically busy, especially with a toddler and stuff. But this is what I posted on Facebook today, and I like it enough to share. I really like all the ones I’ve posted, but eh. Maybe blogging this one will remind me that this blog exists.

I apologize, though part of me knows I don’t have to. Still, I’m apologizing to myself as well, and I’m gratefully accepting it. o.O Talk about dissociation!

Day 9: I’m thankful for self forgiveness. The mess has been piling up for a little bit, and I always feel guilty about it, even though it’s something I’ve combated for over a decade. For the first time though, I have a zest for life, instead of feeling like it’s something I have to fight against to get through.

I started cleaning the sink, because that to me seemed most rational.

I’m thankful for mourning, as odd as it is, because it’s a way to try to reconnect with her, and be able to move forward in my own stuff. It was a major part of our friendship. Not mourning, more… the concept of namaste.

Anyway, I’m grateful for my life. I’m grateful that I got to know Nyssa, that I got to experience the kind of friendship that transforms you. I’m grateful for the mess, and the food in my fridge waiting to be eaten (waiting for me to clean so I can enjoy the simple beauty of cooking).

I’m glad that I got to experience knowing her.

And I’m glad I have this blog. 🙂 I’ve had it now for over a year!


~ by araelysia on November 9, 2013.

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