I’ve been avoiding you.

And by you I mean me, as well as my readers. I’ve been swallowed up by the Year of the Horse and taken on a wild ride, and it’s not even halfway through the year yet. Tonight I am online because Aedric is with his daddy, so I had some time to myself.

I totally wasted it. I think I have some kind of crippling depression issues. It’s like the motivation button just disappears completely sometimes, like my energy is sapped and gone. 

But that’s not entirely the case. For the last week or so, I was at my friend’s house more than normal. Four nights in six days is a lot of time at someone else’s house! I enjoyed it though. I found a beautiful, cheap organic grocery store (and after I went all the way to Beaverton from Rockwood twice I found out that there’s one in Gresham too!!!) when hanging out with Stephanie earlier this week.

I have a lot of motivation issues when it comes to getting important things done. Like appointments for my vision and dental. It really scares me just thinking about the problems I have, so going in to hear the latest update (that’s years new to me) is terrifying.

It occurs to me that I have a hard time letting people in. I have a hard time talking about what pains me in person. I’ve never had the chance to work on speech enough, so my articulation comes through the written word. Perhaps I should start doing a process of writing something and saying it aloud? Get myself used to speaking? 

I’ve been wanting to blog and write for a while. I’ve still got that pokemon story cooking in my head, I think it’s about 75% now. I started some art a little while ago. It has a spiral leading to a wave, some plants, and it’s going to have a tribute to clouds and fire too. Art is healing. ❤

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~ by araelysia on April 19, 2014.

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