Fear vs Excitement…

Stepping out of the rut you’re in can be terrifying at first, especially when you’ve been in that spot for so long, and you don’t know where to go. When you have a ways to climb, first you look for the spot that’s a bit higher, and where it looks like the path might be slightly easier, or at least there are visible hand holds. 

I’m trying to describe this excitement while letting Aedric watch Cars. I am a little tired of My Little Pony.

Recently I’ve started to remember again what it’s like to have hope for what the future will bring. To be able to feel again my hobbit home, to smell the plants I’ll grow and feel the endless peace in my heart. I can see the forest in my mind. I can feel the slight heat of the sun and the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze, and I can smell it. It’s there. I just have to believe.

I’m already part of two different gardens! I have heaps of organic greens in my fridge, and I haven’t even been to either of them in a couple of days. I am so grateful for the community here. I am in the right spot. I can just tell. Even when other things in my life seem scary or uncertain, I know that I can make it through, because I have before.

I can see my bookshelves and feel the kitchen. I can feel my home. I can feel where I will be, and I am comfortable with where I am now.

I’ve had a hard time connecting with that lately, and it’s great to know I still can.

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~ by araelysia on June 11, 2014.

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