Transcending Saturn

Whoa. Okay so I was a bit overwhelmed by tomorrow’s appointment.. I need to go in to the DHS office and do some paperwork and recertification for my TANF. Without meaning to manifest this into my life, I’m quite sure there will be some level of poverty shaming, ableism, and judgment about me standing my ground on not being able to handle the JOBS program, and reading this just cemented my realization that I’m on the right path.

I grew up in poverty. I grew up living in a motel, always afraid of losing everything… But the thing is I already have. I lost everything. I lost my job, the place I was staying and on a leap of FAITH I followed my heart, which told me to take a bus all the way to Portland instead of being homeless in my hometown, Canandaigua New York.

Two days later I met my (soon to be ex) husband. My life has been a wild fucking ride, even before I left Canandaigua the first time, let alone the second. And I wouldn’t take any moment of it back.

No matter what tomorrow brings, I can handle it. I am going to get my hobbit home one way or another. I will fight tooth and claw for it because it’s HOME. It’s what I’ve been searching for my entire life and I won’t be held back.

It may seem odd to some people, but I’ve had some very traumatic experiences with jobs. As a child I watched them suck the life out of my Papa. I watched him be dragged down again and again by this vicious, cyclical system circling the drain. I saw what it did to him, and I still tried. I have worked for several places, and only ONE of those experiences was not traumatic to me. One. And that was a tiny, awesome place.

I want to build things. I want to build my community. Build myself. I’ve broken again and again, shattered into pieces and stitched them back together. I want to grow all my own food. I want to have more than enough to share with those in need. I want homesteading grants to be a thing again.

I want a world we deserve. I want to have a world, a society I’m proud of. I want the corporations cut off. I want us in charge of our own lives again. I want people to realize that their value is not linked to their paycheck, or the material possessions we own. Our value comes from within.

This is what triggered my thoughts: https://www.facebook.com/PersonalMandalas/photos/a.359505084086121.74895.145451122158186/701594836543809/?type=1&theater

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~ by araelysia on July 21, 2014.

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