I know what I did wrong!

Do I get writer points? So for the last like, year almost, maybe more… I forget, it’s been so long, I have shelved this story idea I am “working on” in the back of my head. I haven’t done much writing on it, but the first time I gave it a go I got to 25,000 words, and then I got stuck. It wasn’t structured, purely from the point of view of the characters and now I know what I messed up on.

I don’t consider it a mistake, I still can read it and be proud of what I wrote, and I’m going to use parts of it I’m sure, but it taught me what to do and what not to do, and I focused too much on trying to fill in details, and it just felt off. This morning as I woke up I kind of remembered the dream I had five years ago that started it all. I liked it so much I wrote it down and I meant to go into it, but I weighed it too heavily in my mind and got worried and stressed and thought myself into a box.

It was so bad, I couldn’t figure out what to do for almost a year. I have also had a lot going on in my personal life and frankly, I haven’t bothered to try to sit down and write it yet. I mean, I do have a child.

But that’s not really true or fair to myself. I just haven’t wanted to because I freaked myself out so much. I want this to be good, to be something I am proud of and proud to sell and try to start my “brand” name with.

Instead of dumping Aedric off my chest (Some mornings he likes to switch sides every fifteen minutes for three hours before he wakes up…) and going to the computer a foot away and beginning to type, I just reveled in his little cheek on my shoulder and the smell of him.

Finally, it was about 10 and I needed to get up so I got him a little awake and brought him on the balcony as I wrote in my journal, and I figured it out. I’ve been using this journal as a way to remember thoughts and it blended perfectly-

My characters need fear! Fear and hope. That’s what was wrong. I went too far and didn’t focus on the fear, or the real-ness. Instead I was focusing on the world I was writing, which isn’t a bad thing either.

Yay learning!

~ by araelysia on May 13, 2013.